A eulogy, by her son, Don Mitchell
Friends
and family, we are gathered here this afternoon to pay tribute to, and to celebrate
the life of, Murielle Schleifer of
Old Ta in Anguilla, who died quietly in her sleep at the age of 88 years on the
morning of 27th December 2012.
No doubt, she chose that day and that time, so as to cause a minimum of
inconvenience to anyone, and to ensure that her family and friends could enjoy
a final Christmas together with her. By
holding on for more than a month after the stroke that put her in bed, she gave
us the time to accept that she would shortly be passing on, and to grieve for
the loss of her in our own way, and so that the actual cessation of her breathing
was thankfully accepted. My sister, Alix, was able to fly down from Canada
to visit her and to comfort her in her final illness on more than one occasion
before her death. My brother Gordon and his wife Joan were able to get up to Anguilla from
Trinidad to see her, and to say goodbye, just a week or two before she was gone.
Murielle Schleifer was
born an Owen on 6th
October 1924 at Molyneux in Saint
Kitts. She was the daughter of Albert Elliot Owen, formerly of North
Hill in Anguilla, and Marie Elise
Uddenberg of Basseterre in Saint Kitts. On 16th June 1945 she married her
childhood sweetheart, Arthur Donaldson
Mitchell of Basseterre, but who had been born in Saint Vincent of Grenadian
parents. She bore him four children,
myself, our brother Gordon Elliot of
Trinidad and Tobago, our sister Alix Dianne of
Burlington in Canada, and our little brother, Steven Douglas, who has been her constant companion and helper.
As
we all know, after the death of our father “Mitch” in 1973, our mother
remarried a Jamaican gentleman, Roy
Schleifer of San Fernando in Trinidad.
When Roy retired from Texaco in 1983, he and Murielle returned to live
at Old Ta in Anguilla; and after he
passed away in October 1984, he was himself buried at the South Hill Methodist
Church. She chose for herself not to be
buried in the traditional way but to be cremated in Sint Maarten, and her ashes
sprinkled over the roots of a tree in the grounds of her favourite St Gerard’s Roman Catholic Church in
The Valley in Anguilla. She thought it a
sin to waste valuable real estate by occupying it herself when she could not
really use it.
It
is commonly acknowledged that Murielle Schleifer was a
good woman, cheerful and friendly at all times.
There are only a few persons of whom it can be genuinely said, “She
never had an ill word to speak of anyone.”
That was, however, her signal characteristic. She used to chide me at intervals for not
having inherited that admirable trait, but, as she was also wont to remind me,
“Don’t forget, you have inherited your genes from both sides of the family”. That last one was more likely than not to
slip out when I warned her of the short life-span of the Mitchell men, and that
the likelihood was that she would out-live her sons. She reminded us that the Owens of Anguilla
regularly live to a ripe old age.
She
was always an elegant and witty lady, of the style and posture of an earlier
era. Of her it was frequently remarked
that she was a true lady, in the real sense of that term, not only one of the
kindest and gentlest persons we could ever know, but never seen in public
without her hair in place, make-up on, and impeccably dressed. It was of increasing regret to her in her
last years that she had to suffer and endure the indignities of advancing old
age. So much so, that, in recent years,
she had taken to warning her children, “The one thing to remember is, don’t
grow old. It’s no fun!”
For
a simple, Kittitian/Anguillian woman, Murielle
Schleifer managed to bring up three children of whom she could be proud, as
well as myself. She always considered
her children her grandest achievement, after her garden. My brother, Gordon, has had a successful career as a construction engineer,
building two homes for clients in Anguilla as well as structures throughout the
Windward Islands, and in his chosen home-islands of Trinidad and Tobago. He now enjoys a happy retirement as a farmer
in Tobago where he breeds sheep, goats, pigeons, and rabbits, and specialises
in his own form of aquaculture, using the effluent from the fish he breeds to
provide the major nutrient for his water-fed plants. If only we could bring that technology to
Anguilla, we might have some chance of engaging in a really profitable, modern
form of agriculture instead of trying to scratch a poor living from our barren,
sun-parched land.
My Canadian
sister, Alix, who has been visiting
her Mum several times a year, and has got to be such a frequent visitor that
she is recognised in every shop in The Valley, has made a successful career for
herself as a qualified, licensed financial advisor in her home town of Burlington and beyond. The only department of Government in Anguilla
that Alix has been unsuccessful in dealing with is the Licensing Department, which will, to her constant regret, not issue
her with a three-year driving licence, thus saving her from the constant trips
to the relevant window to obtain a temporary visitor’s licence.
Our
last brother, Steven, inherited all
the brains donated by our father and mother that were not used up on Alix. He qualified as a structural engineer at Ryerson University in Ontario, and has
been involved in the construction of many of the major hotels in Anguilla since
he came back home from his studies in 1983.
He is presently gainfully employed by CuisinArt Hotel, where we trust he will have many happy years involvement
in hotel construction, given the recent acquisition by his employer of the
unfinished tourist resort previously known as the Flag Luxury Hotel and Golf Course, on the construction of which he
was previously engaged.
Me,
you know as only the fourth lawyer, after the late Dame Bernice V Lake QC, the late Dr William V Herbert, and the Rt
Hon Sir Dennis Byron, to set up a law practice in Anguilla. After my first five years in Basseterre, I
spent four years starting in 1976 as the Magistrate for Anguilla. I then went into private practice in The
Valley in December 1980, and spent the next eighteen years building up a
full-time, resident law-practice, making me probably the first lawyer in the
history of Anguilla to devote the major part of his career to the Bar of
Anguilla.
Murielle
suffered a stroke on 20th November last year. This was the result of a fall, suffered while
pulling one of her beloved potted plants out from the shelter of her veranda
into the rain which was then falling.
She was struck down a week after her fall, while on the telephone,
laughing at some joke from our friend Keith
“Chinnix” Brooks, and surrounded by her caregivers, Christine Waite and Josephine Lake, and her daughter, Alix. She never regained full consciousness after
that blow. At most, in the early days of
her final illness, she was able to give a feeble nod or shake of the head in
response to your question. The ability
to do even that gradually faded away as her life force failed her.
We
must thank all the kind doctors, and nursing staff, first at the Women’s Ward
at the Princess Alexandra Hospital,
and later at the Rosewood Centre for the
Elderly at Sandy Hill in Anguilla, where she
spent her last weeks. They did
everything within their power to treat her symptoms, and to ease her pain. On behalf of our family, may I extend our
deep gratitude for all that you did to take care of her.
Those
of us who knew her will miss her, and will treasure our memories of her,
especially her constant laughter and many kindnesses. Her love has left an indelible imprint on our
memories, and we take comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by
having shared her love.
May
she rest in peace.
